Close and Open

        

  "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

- Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

          Today marks the two month mark until our final performance here in Malawi. That is a very exciting and also terrifying thought. I cannot wait to see the result of all the build up from the past two years. Our girls have worked so hard for this moment and I am confident that the Lord will use the beautiful story of Alice and Emmanuel for His glory. You can read all about it HERE. This two month mark also stands for when I will be leaving my home. That is an incredibly bittersweet statement. The thought of leaving everything I have held close is heartbreaking. I know I will miss my students and friends more than I wish to think about. I also know that getting to be closer to my family will be wonderful. I remember writing a blog when I moved here entitled "Bittersweet Beginnings." I cannot help but think even with two years of growing and changing that I now feel remarkably similar. Its funny how despite different circumstances and times, God is always bringing us through transitions. If I have learned anything at all, it is that God is always faithful and the peace I feel even with the looming unknown can only be accredited to Him.

          This week is our Easter break and I realized that I am planning my final trip in Malawi. We are heading to a part of the lake called Cape Maclear and I am pretty excited to ride camels and climb a mountain called Zomba. I will miss traveling around Africa and the world. I will miss the laid back lifestyle and friendly people. I will miss my students and pouring into their lives. This program has been my life and its strange to give God the reins and trust that He will bring others to carry it on. I will miss the African sky. There is nothing to compare to our sunsets. I will miss my church family and friends. The thought of starting over and trying to find community scares me. I think God brought a special bond between the friends that moved to Malawi with me. I will miss my job and working with Carrie. The opportunities we have had never cease to amaze and humble me. There are so many things that will be heartbreaking to leave. I cannot even begin to sum it up. As we approach Easter, I can only be reminded of how much the Lord gave up for me and how he sympathizes with every hardship. What a comfort to know that we have him on our side.

          Living overseas, though wonderful, also has its down sides and there are many things that I look forward to in the states. Let me tell you things like hot showers, internet, and electricity should never be taken for granted. Last week, I drove in a car that had air conditioning and it was actually the highlight of my day. I sometimes dream about fast food from Chipotle and large cokes from McDonald's with ICE CUBES! Don't even get me started on Starbucks. Pumpkin Spice Lattes, here I come. Getting creamer for coffee shipped over here is such a luxury. I will not miss the boxed milk that we use in Malawi. Simple things like shopping at Target is so very missed. For someone who loves winter, God must find it amusing that I have now lived in Mississippi and Africa! The idea of cold weather, scarves, and hot cocoa makes me so happy. Living somewhere that I am not constantly sweating sounds kind of awesome. In the states, I don't have to worry about using a mosquito net to keep out cockroaches from my bed or find giant nests in my closet. A few days ago, I found a snake on my way home and although I won't lie, I felt kind of cool killing it with my pocket knife, I don't need to experience that again. I will be happy in a place without giant creatures creeping around. In all seriousness though, I will enjoy hanging out with my family and friends. Being away has drawbacks and I cannot wait to be more a part of the lives of my brothers, sisters, parents, and friends. I miss the Indiana trees and seasons. I miss going to games, shows, and movies. Sometimes the little things are what I miss the most. I am looking forward to being home for the holidays as well as the boring days. I am excited to see what new opportunities lie on the horizon.

          Adjusting is hard. I'm not just talking about switching which side of the road I drive on or having different weather. I know I have changed in many ways and am not the same person that moved here two years ago. Moving back and having reverse culture shock will be difficult. I do not look forward to questions like "how was your trip" and "how is Africa". Though well intended, they are impossible to answer. This is my home now and my whole life has been here. Though I wish I could, I cannot put it into a couple of sentences. This wasn't a study abroad program where I have a few highlights to share. This wasn't a missions trip where I had a crazy experience. This wasn't a vacation to some exotic place. This was two years. This was one tenth of my life on earth thus far. This was exciting, boring, happy, sad, fun, scary, and a million more emotions combined. Africa is a huge place and my life experiences have been very different than people on the other side of the continent. I absolutely love sharing what God has done here with others! I find talking about ministry, travel, Africa, and almost any subject pertaining to this fascinating to discuss with just about anyone! It is however quite difficult to embark on a new adventure in a new place knowing that its impossible to have everyone understand the struggle of repatriating into your old home. I don't know how to put into words that I am so beyond thankful to be close to family and that if I have a hard time it isn't because of them, but because of the drastic change. I want to be able to share stories with others and hear their stories relating. New adventures are always fun, but this is me being perfectly honest. I look forward to catching up with people and hearing about what the Lord has done in their lives the past two years. I look forward to the challenge of adjusting into a new life, but here I write my fears and joys of what the near future may hold.

          I have always hated finishing books. You get so engrossed in the story that closing it at the end is awful! However, opening a new one always succeeds in being sad to finish as well. That's how it feels to be closing this book in Africa and opening a new one in the states. The future is uncertain and trusting God is vital. Please be praying for our last two months and all that needs to be done. Please be praying for next year as well. We are in the process of handing over the ballet department to new hands and I know the Lord will make them competent ministers, but please be praying for them. God has provided me with a summer job (yay!), but I am also looking for a more permanent one as well as looking into school options. Please be praying for wisdom in planning what is next. Thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support. If you would like to know more about how to help me financially for the end of the year, what items we need donated, or how to get involved with the ministry I work with, please don't hesitate to ask. We couldn't put on the shows and outreaches without your help. Important days to be praying for are as follows: Live Love performance (village dance outreach), workshop days (mini intensives for students), fundraisers (to put on our big show), and May 29th, the date of our big production at Bingu. Thanks again for all of your encouragement! I have a feeling that God has a great ending for this chapter!

"A new path lies before us; we're not sure where it leads;

 but God goes on before us, providing all our needs."

- Linda Maurice

"I am guiding you in the way of wisdom, 

and I am leading you on the right path."

- Proverbs 4:11 NCV

"Your life is a journey you must travel

with a deep consciousnesses of God." 

- 1 Peter 1:18 MSG

Zikomo

          As I look back on my life the past several years, I am brought to my knees in amazement of the Lord's grace. When He gives you a glimpse of why things happened and how He worked them together for this moment and the future, I cannot help but ask myself why I ever worry or doubt. God took me from a low point of darkness and gave me a purpose. He redeemed my selfish ways and transformed it to use for His glory. His faithfulness never ends. God used things like my family, being homeschooled, pursuing dance, low points, needing a purpose, Ballet Magnificat, ABC Christian Academy, close friends, and much, much more to bring me to Africa for the past few years. He continues to use me despite missteps and failings. I couldn't have done this without all of your support, encouragement, and prayers. I wish I could put into words how grateful I am for all that you have made possible. In the link below, my friend Carrie and I attempt the impossible of summing up our lives and sharing a glimpse into a bit of what God has done. I've learned, changed, and grown so much. God has taught me more about myself, my sin, Himself, and His grace than ever before. This video will hopefully shed light on some of that! I get nervous talking in front of cameras which is why I dance instead of speak, but we did our best and with some major editing and help from our friend Michael, we created what I hope you will enjoy. Zikomo Kwambiri! (Thank you very much!)


Click here to watch our video. :)

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news."  - Romans 10:14-15

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost