I live in a gated campus in Lilongwe, Malawi. It's quite easy to forget we are in Africa and makes me realize how silly my assumptions of foreign places can be. I live with three other girls from America and work at a school with missionaries from all over the world. Like many of you, wherever you are, I wake up after about 10 alarms and 2 cups of coffee. I usually walk to school in the morning which is only a couple of minutes away. Thus, I begin my day as a teachers assistant to fourth grade. I never thought I'd be the one grading math papers, but I suppose it's good practice for being a parent. When I'm finished with this part of work, I leave to run errands with Carrie, send emails, do work for ballet, or grab a coke. Lets be honest, I usually grab a coke and then do whatever else. As I leave class, I usually drown in a giant bear hug from my little dancers. It's enough to brighten the worst of days.
The second part of my day is usually full as we try to cram as much as possible in between our TA job and ballet job. Sometimes we eat, but usually we run around with coke and billtong- the equivalent of beef jerky. Wether we are going to get fabric for costumes, meeting up with our tailor to make them, or advertising for our productions, we do a lot of driving. Our productions keep growing, and it's hard to keep up. We have beautiful posters and programs designed and spend a lot of time marketing to get sponsors and such as well as visiting venues and discussing logistics with others involved. Hence, another job I never imagined doing. Because we have so many students, there is a lot of time that goes into choreographing dances, picking/editing music, and emailing/communicating with parents and teachers. Depending on the day, we wrap this part of our day up by twelve or one and quickly switch from attempted working professional to ballet teacher.
The next five to six hours of our day is mostly consumed of me yelling "pointe your toes," "stretch your knees," and "no talking in class" to a studio full of little girls. Depending on the day and time, we have 3-17 year olds who all want to be "ballerinas" and look up to us more than I wish they did. We teach 20+ classes each week and try to rehearse and practice ourselves when possible- it's very difficult though. I'm usually drinking another coke at this point, realizing how hard teaching is and discovering more respect for my instructors than I've ever had before. To be honest, I'm usually frustrated by how little time we have with each class. Although our schedule (and theirs) is full, I usually complain to Carrie that we just need another hour with each group so that we have time for class and rehearsal. It's then that I have to remind myself why I'm teaching ballet here. We pursue excellence, but not perfection. Our desire is that our kids use art to glorify and worship God, not to become perfectionists. It's a constant learning process to know how to push your students and still encourage and love them. I think one of my favorite parts of the day is when one of them prays at the end of class. I know many of them do not yet know The Lord, but to hear the childlike faith in the prayers of those that do is special. I love seeing their progress and improvement. It brings so much joy. I love the endless hugs, flowers, and smiles from my girls. Teaching is not easy. It can be extremely frustrating. It can also be surprisingly rewarding. Sometimes I feel like a failure, but usually God reminds me in one way or another that these girls are getting a dream come true - to dance. Little insignificant me gets to be a part of their dream. I feel so blessed. I also feel sore and tired. Dancing while cold and being in and out of shape takes a toll and is something I've never had to deal with before. It's rough. We still perform and do outreach with dancing so we are somewhat in performance shape. However lack of time for regular classes has been hard on me. I literally got a muscle cramp doing an adagio combination today. It was embarrassing. Then again, it shows over and over how much daily grace God gives us. Somehow, he gives us the ability and strength to perform and continue to use dance for Him. Lately we have spent a lot of time rehearsing pieces for our spring show. They are all to hymns and seeing our kids worship through dance has encouraged me. So goes the ups and downs of teaching. I love my job. I love my students even more. Every part is worth it. They are worth it.
By this point in my day, it's between five and six. I usually walk up to Carries and somehow we aren't sick of each other - another gift from God. Our friendship, though not perfect, is a blessing and we seriously are always hanging out. Few friends are like sisters so its been cool to have her around. My house doesn't have Internet and we do most of our grocery shopping together, so I usually stop by her place instead of mine. Not that that matters; we live about 5 seconds apart. We eat dinner and talk about work as we catch up with emails and Facebook or voxer. Depending on the night, we then get ready to head to either ABC bible study, our church growth group, hanging out with friends, watching a game, or catching up with whatever else. We are currently studying Matthew, and it has been encouraging to dig into it with others who love the Word. Somewhere in there, I plan my Sunday school bible studies, catch up on my own quiet time, keep in touch with people, occasionally blog, or watch one too many episodes of "person of interest", "covert affairs", or "psych." My life is probably similar to a lot of yours in one way or another. If you got this far in reading my blog, I hope you realize how we can be worlds apart and still have so many similarities. God still teaches us so much through normal, uneventful days.
He is showing me a lot about my own weaknesses, failures, and problems. I realize more and more my dependency on His grace and His strength. I cannot do this without Him. Through the crazy and simple, He has a purpose. He has a lesson. He is, after all the greatest Teacher of all. He is so patient - something I am not at all. He knows how and when to teach us. It makes me love Him even more. The question is, "do I love Him enough to do anything He calls me to?" Can we comprehend even a bit of His goodness? Of His love? I think if we did, we wouldn't hesitate to do what He calls us to do (whether big or small.) I want to know Him more. I want to love Him more. Someone asked this the other day, and it made me think for a while. Do I love serving God more than I love Him? Do I love what He does more than who He is? I don't want to lose reverence and fear of the Lord, but I do want to have that childlike relationship with Him - constantly seeking Him and following Him.
If you know me at all, you know that I am very patriotic. I love America and what it stands for. It will always be my home. Most importantly, my family is there and that is where I will always go back to. However, I love Africa too. It's become my home away from home. I love traveling, adapting, and changing. It's a special thing to have two places that have a hold on your heart. I look forward to staying here another year and seeing what it holds. I also look forward to returning home and spending time with the people I love the most - my family. It's been a crazy year with big events as well as the normal, everyday life. I appreciate your prayers and support so very much. I need them. I promise to post pictures soon, and lots of them. I hope you have seen them on Facebook, but if not, I will try to put them on here this week. They take a long time to upload, so we shall see. Anyways, much love to y'all!
Prayers too:) Em
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound! That saved a wretch like me...
I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see..."
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