Reflecting on the Lord's faithfulness is so overlooked. How often do I really praise Him for what He has done? Its so easy to read about the Israelites and think, "Wow, how stupid are you? Don't you remember what God has done for you?" Then however, I am convicted because in reality, I am the same as them. The Lord is so good, and I so easily forget. Its like having permanent short term memory loss. I can get so upset with Him even after He has answered so many prayers and provided in crazy ways. Who am I to question His ways? Who am I to question His plans? Who am I to question His character when I am such a small moment in history? Why is it so easy to forget that He does use every moment "for the good of those who love him" and that "he cannot deny himself"? I think its to remind us of how little and sinful we are. Its to show me how big his grace is and how desperately I need Him in every moment. I have been reflecting this week as our semester has concluded and I have realized some pretty cool things. God has allowed almost all of my dreams to come true. Maybe that sounds silly, but its amazing to understand that He gives us desires for a reason. Did my dreams end up exactly how I planned? Of course not. Do they ever? I am undeniably blessed however to be able to use all of the things I love for the Lord. He took all the selfish things I like and completely remade them into something I can use for Him. Through my life commitment to ballet, my love for kids, my wanderlust to travel and live in different places, and most importantly the privilege to work in missions, He has orchestrated those loves into a story that shows His grace and glory. It proves yet again that everything is an avenue to praise Him. All of these moments- good, bad, hard, fun, sad, joyous, busy, lonely, exciting, and even scary have been a part of what He is using to bring me and hopefully people around me closer to Him. Closer to His love. I want to share with you a few of the most pivotal moments this past year in Malawi. The following are ten things I will never forget and am so very thankful for this year:
- I really don't think I will ever doubt the Lord's provision again. Of course I stress about money and decisions- all the normal stuff. However, God provided in crazy ways for me to get here to Africa and I will never forget that it was all Him. He always has my back. So number 1 is provision- the Lord's provision.
- I was very concerned about moving overseas with someone I had never gotten to know. I wanted to move with my best friend Madeline but through a crazy series of events, I ended up moving to Malawi with a girl named Carrie. You know like the horror Carrie? :) It was probably one of my biggest concerns and yet again goes to show how much we really have to trust the Lord. He knows what He's doing and He sent two random people to be partners that He knew would become best friends. The beginning of my time here wouldn't have been the same without her and I am so thankful for our friendship this year. We have had some crazy moments:) So number two is Carrie.
- Finding a church is very difficult. I am so blessed to have been taught at a very young age that you have to be careful where you get your wisdom and advice from. Not every church is sound and my parents went to great lengths to teach us truth. I don't know where I'd be without them, but I definitely wouldn't be in a good place. Moving here, I knew I needed the support of a group of believers who seek God before all else. I found that in my church - Flood. I am so blessed to be a part of the kids ministry and hear truth from people who speak the Word of God. Number 3 is Flood Church.
- There are so many people out there who hate their jobs. So many who feel purposeless and unsatisfied. How did I get so lucky? Don't get me wrong... Ballet, teaching, organizing shows, and whatever else seems to take up all my sleeping time is hard. I love it though. I can't explain it. No matter what happens around me, I know this is where God put me for now. Having a high stress job, living on a missionary campus, being in a new place, working-living with all the same people can take its toll, but I am so glad to have had this chance to grow. I have had to do things for this job I didn't think I was capable of, but that goes to show how much God helps us in weakness. Really though, how many people absolutely love their job? Number 4? My job. All 27 parts of it. :)
- People make fun of me all the time for how much I love kids. I can't help it though. Hopefully I'll have a million someday. haha. Kids have something special. They love unconditionally. They trust in ways I only wish I could. I would be happy to spend my Friday nights with kids. They can always brighten your day. So, being able to make over a hundred little girl's dreams of being a "ballerina" come true is pretty great. I love my students so, so much. They mean a lot to me and I feel honored to be put in the position of teacher/role model. Its not something I take lightly and I pray that God will use me in their lives. My students are pretty epic so they are number 5.
- The ability to use your gifts, talents, resources, and jobs for God is so fulfilling. Probably because that's what we are made to do. We were made to worship and as C.S. Lewis says, “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” The cool part of my job is that its as close as I can get to that. We get to spread the gospel through music and dance. Its been exciting to perform with local artists and our students around Malawi this year. People are so much more open to hearing the gospel through art than through other ways. So number 6 on my list is the opportunity to do outreach through ballet.
- I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to top my spring break this year. It was epic. In short, travelling 5 countries in 3 days, seeing Victoria Falls, going on 2 safaris, and experiencing new things with great people was unbelievable. Seeing God's handiwork in a place like that is unreal. Seeing all the animals, petting them, riding them, and hiking around was something I will never forget. I wish I could go back with my family. Its something everyone should do if they are ever in my corner of the world. Number 7=Vic Falls/Safari.
- Last week, we had our final performance. It really was the culmination of the entire year. Nyimbo:Hymns was quite possibly one of my favorite times this year. 130 students dancing to hymns. It truly was a night of worship. So much went into the show with choreography, rehearsals, staging, lighting, music, costumes, programs, tickets, advertising, getting sponsors, ect. We couldn't have done it without the Lord. We thought it would be empty, but this huge theatre that seats 1500 was almost full. There were a lot of political threats of violence that day including riots, burning cars, and buildings. Yet it was still a night of worshipping the Lord. Usually when something big is about to happen for God, Satan attacks and that is how we felt that day. It was powerful to see God use it for Himself. #8 is Nyimbo:Hymns.
- This year has been hard and wonderful at the same time. Its been a learning and changing time. God has taught me so much and I've grown so much. Living in a different country is such a great opportunity and I could really go on and on about all that has happened. Basically, I've learned that God is my stronghold. He doesn't disappoint. He doesn't let us down. He is my rock. He is my king, guide, and friend. Number 9 is growth. I pray that God continues to work and change me.
- Jesus. Yeah that sums it up. There is power in His name. He is the reason to live. He is great. He is good. He is grace. All I want to do with this life is glorify His name. I fail, but He does not. He is enough for me. He deserves glory and praise. I pray that He will bind my wandering heart to His. I pray that He will use me where He wants and that He will do the same for you. So yes to conclude, number 10 is HIM.
- As we finish up here, pray that everything gets done and we have time to relax a bit after organizing.
- Please pray for all of our students who are leaving for good. I will miss them terribly and please join me in prayer that God will "complete the work He began in them."
- I go home on Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot wait to see my family. Please pray for safe travel.
- Please pray that this summer will be restful and that Carrie and I will have a good break. It can be very, very, difficult to readjust to America after being in a third world country. Please pray for grace in that area.
- Pray for Malawi. There is so much corruption in the government and they are in the middle of a political mess with elections- we are yet to have a President.
- Pray for safety in Malawi during this political process.
- ABC next year will be different with so many people leaving- pray for the ministry to continue and God to continue to work.
- We need guidance for next year. Please ask that the Lord will show me His will and how to best serve Him.
- Finances as always are a prayer request.
- Lastly, but very important. My friend Dani was in a car accident and is slowly recovering. She needs continued miracles, so please pray for complete healing.
And finally, I'll leave you with a part of our program in our show:
Horatio Spafford (1828-1888) was a wealthy Chicago lawyer with a thriving legal practice, a beautiful home, a wife, four daughters and a son. He was also a devout Christian and faithful student of the Scriptures. His circle of friends included Dwight L. Moody, Ira Sankey and various other well-known Christians of the day.
At the very height of his financial and professional success, Horatio and his wife Anna suffered the tragic loss of their young son. Shortly thereafter on October 8, 1871, the Great Chicago Fire destroyed almost every real estate investment that Spafford had.
In 1873, Spafford scheduled a boat trip to Europe in order to give his wife and daughters a much needed vacation and time to recover from the tragedy. He also went to join Moody and Sankey on an evangelistic campaign in England. Spafford sent his wife and daughters ahead of him while he remained in Chicago to take care of some unexpected last minute business. Several days later he received notice that his family's ship had encountered a collision. All four of his daughters drowned; only his wife had survived.
With a heavy heart, Spafford boarded a boat that would take him to his grieving Anna in England. It was on this trip that he penned those now famous words...
At the very height of his financial and professional success, Horatio and his wife Anna suffered the tragic loss of their young son. Shortly thereafter on October 8, 1871, the Great Chicago Fire destroyed almost every real estate investment that Spafford had.
In 1873, Spafford scheduled a boat trip to Europe in order to give his wife and daughters a much needed vacation and time to recover from the tragedy. He also went to join Moody and Sankey on an evangelistic campaign in England. Spafford sent his wife and daughters ahead of him while he remained in Chicago to take care of some unexpected last minute business. Several days later he received notice that his family's ship had encountered a collision. All four of his daughters drowned; only his wife had survived.
With a heavy heart, Spafford boarded a boat that would take him to his grieving Anna in England. It was on this trip that he penned those now famous words...
It Is Well With My Soul
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
It is well (it is well),
with my soul (with my soul),
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to His cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
And Lord haste the day, when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.
It is well (it is well),
with my soul (with my soul),
It is well, it is well with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to His cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
And Lord haste the day, when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
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