"My soul waiteth in silence for God only: From him cometh my salvation." - Psalm 62:1
How hard it is to stop in the midst of life to sit and wait upon God! However it raises a question. How can I think that I can go for even a day without seeking time with The Lord? The only conclusion that I can find is that I am too proud to realize my own desperate deficiency. It seems to be a recurring theme in my walk with God. No matter what season I am in, He always brings me back to this. I get so frustrated with Him and myself. Why can I not learn and move on? Its my "fix it" controlling personality that wants to move to the next lesson. Everytime I read through the Old Testament, I want to scream at the Israelites. "How can you keep turning to other gods?" I want to ask... "Hasn't God proven Himself enough?" Another recurring story is "raising an ebenezer." I found this word in 1 Samuel and had no idea what it meant... So, I looked it up. The word means "stone of help." It was used to set up an altar to remind people what God had done and how He had been faithful. How easily I forget the torture and humiliation that Christ took upon Himself in order to redeem my life. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by the weight over what He has rescued me from, and other times I live through the day as if I have forgotten what He has done. What a tragedy: to not remember the greatest act of love on a consistent basis. Over the past few weeks, God has opened my eyes in ways He never has before. He has shown me ways to remind myself of His faithfulness, He has helped discipline myself to spend more time with Him, and through this, my eyes have been opened to more of what He sees.
The thing is, we are human. We are prone to forgetting. We are often failing. BUT, how great is our God? He helps us in weakness, never ceases to give grace, and never stops growing and pruning us. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says this:
"He (the Christian) is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the
stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is
not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
There will be times of drought spiritually, but we dont have to fear. There will be times when we feel stuck. There will be times when we make mistakes. God is faithful- praise The Lord... He will carry out the work He began and if we have our roots in Him and are remaining in Him, He will bind our wandering hearts to Himself. He will continue to humble us and show us how much we need Him. He will truly teach us the meaning of being hungry and thirsty for God. IF... we ASK.
"My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding—
indeed, if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord
and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom;
from his mouth come knowledge and understanding."
Proverbs 2
Speaking of the craziness and business of life, brings me to my next point. How easy it is to get caught up in "my world" and not be in tune with what God wants. Something I have been mulling over is how many things I do because I want to do them. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I would have to say the majority of what I do is based on what I desire at that point in time. Whether its what I am going to eat for lunch, or what I do in my free time, or actual important things like what I am going to do with my life in the future. Is it possible that I spend so much time thinking about what I want/need/desire that I become blind to others around me? Unfortunately, I believe that it is not only possible, but probable that it happens more than I want to admit. The more time I spend in prayer, the less I think of myself. The past few weeks have been so freeing. There are so many things that consume us that have little to no importance. Becoming more in tune to The Lord makes us more in tune to others. We do, in a way, die to ourselves. Its such a beautiful death. One that only Christ could perfect, but one that we can strive for. The only death that leads to life- and life eternal. And this is my prayer...
"let LOVE keep my will on its knees."
I want to have that "James like" prayer life where I take everything to my father before acting. If we went to our knees with our will and left with more of HIS will, I believe the world would be different. If we acted not on what our will is, or even what we think God's will is... What would happen if we actually sat in silence and waited for God to tell us His will? Again, I think that at least for me, I get caught up in so many things that I dont always notice when God is trying to get my attention. Of course He always does, but what if we were so in tune to Him, that He only had to show us once? I love the picture that Elizabeth Barrett Browning gives,
“Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God,
But only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.”
This was our first week of ballet at ABC Christian Academy. We have somewhere between 100-150 students and it looks like its going to be a wonderful year- full of opportunities. It was so great to see our girls again. I feel so blessed to be able to do everything I love here. It hit me again today. I never in a million years would have thought this is what I would be doing, but I wouldn't change it for anything. The opportunities to use dance as ministry are so great here. I cannot imagine a place that would allow us to do what we get through this program. I was talking to Carrie about the hundreds and really thousands of people who have been exposed to the gospel through dance so far in Malawi and it blew my mind. Through all of the performances, conferences, TV, newspapers, and festivals, I am amazed at how God can take something random like dance and use it to glorify HIS name. Please be in prayer for this year and although it will be different, that The Lord will use it in crazy ways to advance His kingdom. If you would like to find out more about how to donate ballet shoes and funds, please contact me at gloemg16@gmail.com and check out more consistent updates on my Facebook or Instagram. We are so thankful for your prayers. The ministry here is incredible, but we would be completely drained without the encouragement and prayers from all of you. I cannot tell you how thankful I am and how much of a difference you help to make for all of our students. Prayer requests below:
1) Please, please, please pray that Carrie and I will start the year off well with students, parents, and staff. We want to share our vision of ministry for the program with them and be more unified as a whole.
2) Not all of our students are saved. Please pray for them, their families, and anyone who sees performances by the ABC Christian Academy Ballet Department. There are many different religious backgrounds at this school and we need wisdom on how to witness.
3) As far as we know, our first shows are in November, so please be praying for the preparation and performing of those.
4) Carrie and I are working a lot teaching regular school in the mornings, teaching ballet until 6, and trying to run the whold department. We do have a new teacher to help with some of the ballet classes which is an answered prayer! It does get hectic though, so pray for grace in those areas.
5) Our biggest days of the year are in December and May which we have already heavily began planning for. Pray that God will give us ideas to use especially for the end of the year in May when we are trying to create a story ballet on redemption.
6) Personally, I would love to be able to do more ministry with my friends outside of the city. They run missions called LiveLove and GO in the villages outside of Lilongwe. Although we get busy with ballet schedules, I would love to do others as well- so just time to make for that.
7) I know I have a lot on my mind about next year as I plan to attend school and I don't want to get too focused on the future and not fully live here.
8) Please pray for provision of funds, ballet shoes, and new ballet teachers with a heart for missions to take on this role when Carrie and I head to new seasons. We cannot bear the thought of this ministry falling apart.
9) My family is in the midst of moving to a new home. I know that they are stressed and I wish I could help more. Please pray that God will provide what they need.
That is all I can think of for now. Y'all are awesome. Thanks for reading my word vomit and supporting us. I am praying for all of you as well. Goodbye for now:)
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