As I looked down the side of Mount Mulanje, which is the third highest peak in Africa, I saw a wall of fog. As it cleared, I could see the steep cliffs that we had climbed the past few days. It had been a hard backpacking trip, but one of the most beautiful I have been on. It was a bit frightening to be unable to see what was ahead on our descent down. It was scary to be walking into the "unknown." What was ahead was a mystery until we walked into it. The first thunderstorm of the season had arrived the night before and the lightning was stunning. The sky here in Malawi is something that cannot be described in word or picture. The stars, sunsets, and storms are so beautiful. As I said though, this morning was particularly foggy and it reminded me of how foggy the future can be. Before you stop reading this, I know it sounds like a cheesy comparison, but sometimes walking in nature, a mountain for instance, gives time to reflect and God uses random things to speak to us. Hence, the fog. Isn't the future a fog? Isn't it unknown until we walk into it? Isn't that scary? I think it is. Unless, we have an all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving God who has it all carefully written in His plan. Shouldn't the fact that we have been redeemed change the way we see that fog?
Redeemed: Ransomed, Paid For, Bought, Taken from an undesirable situation, Saved, Atoned For. Sometimes, I get so stressed about this foggy future that I live in a way that does not reflect this redemption. Instead of trusting in this incredible Savior, I lose focus and try to do everything in my own strength. When I try to figure my life out and plan every detail, I stop seeking the Lord and all the little things start bothering me more than usual. This begins with being self consumed. I stop thinking of others and allow myself to dwell on the stresses of life. On these days, all I want is water for a shower and I forget about those in this country who don't ever have drinking water. I get bothered by the ants all over my room and the tarantulas outside. On these days, all I want is a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. I get frustrated with the slow internet and the fact that I cannot easily talk to my family. On these days, I ask myself why I didn't go to college and start a normal life. I forget that my complaints are so small when compared to other's around the world. Last week, I shared my testimony with one of the classes here at school and I think I got just as much out of it as anyone. It was such a wonderful reminder of what the Lord has redeemed me from and how my identity is forever more in Him. I am essentially the Lord's. If I began with trusting Him, than these daily irritations wouldn't be such a big deal. If I lived as if I was redeemed, than I wouldn't be concerned with what the future holds. I would know that it holds the Lord's plan and because I know Him, I would know that it will be better than anything I could come up with in my own strength. This fog wouldn't be quite so daunting.
I want to share with you a few moments from the past week that have been answered prayers. Because for all the bad days, there are several great ones and the Lord is working here. My students are the reason I came back to Africa for a second year. I love them to pieces and cannot think about leaving them. However, I am very hard on them, always pushing them to work hard. Sometimes, I worry that they don't know how much I love them and I pray that they will come to know how much they mean to me. Their smiles are enough to make my day and I love getting to know them better. Its such a privilege to be able to teach them. Some of my students are Muslim, and I have been praying for them for a year and a half now. I feel so unqualified to minister, but I think loving them is the best way to share Jesus sometimes. This past week, two of these students though their families aren't Christians, have prayed at the end of class, which is huge. The pressure on young kids to follow their families in beliefs is especially great in the Muslim religion. I cannot know for sure what the Lord is working in them, but I know that He is working and that brings me so much joy. I am so looking forward to the performances coming up as it gives our kids the chance to use dance to share the gospel and actually put into practice what we teach. Carrie and I are putting together a story ballet on the Rwandan Genocide for the end of the year based on a true story of forgiveness and redemption. Please be praying for this to impact us, our students, and the audience in a positive way. We need the Lord to use this ballet for it to bring Him glory.
"Love your neighbor as yourself." This often quoted scripture has been on my mind a lot lately. I realized that we cannot love others without loving ourselves. Now, I am not saying to pamper ourselves, we are also called to deny ourselves and follow Christ. However, if we are not taking time to spend with the Lord studying scripture on our own and just growing in our relationship with Him, we will be unable to show His love to others. Our time with Christ is vital to our growth and joy. Without it, we are too weak to keep our focus. When I get worried about the future like I was talking about earlier and start letting little things bother me, I stop thinking of others. I also stop taking time for alone time with the Lord. Obviously, all of these things are wrong, but then I get so angry at myself for making mistakes. Doesn't this just show that I am prideful? The fact that it surprises me that I mess up shows that I still don't fully understand my desperate need for grace and what the Lord did on the cross for me. I think this is a daily learning process. Although I get overwhelmed with all that the Lord is doing, I know He knows best. I am so thankful for a God that is good. I came across a couple of quotes that have really hit home with me and I'd like to share them with you now...
"God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them."
- John Piper
"God often reinforces our faith after we trust Him, not before."
- Ravi Zacharias
Romans 8 (yep, all of it)
"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that he creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
There is so much more I would love to share about every day life and all that goes on, but I try to make my blogs flow or have some kind of theme. This one took me forever, so I hope it makes sense and gives you a glimpse into my little corner of the world. Thank you for all your prayers and support. It means so much to me. If you would like more updates on the different ministry opportunities, normal life, pictures, and such, please check out my Facebook. I update it more regularly and I cannot put pictures on my blog because of the slow internet connection. Thanks y'all.
-em
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