a Scattering of Thoughts

          "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" keeps playing on my epic Christmas playlist and it has me thinking a lot of home and the holidays. Although I have been listening to it since October, drinking hot cocoa in front of my fan (in defiance of the heat), wearing candy cane earrings :), and making Christmas plans, its just not the same without the people you call family. As America celebrated Thanksgiving this week, the crew here at ABC pulled off a feast of our own. It was fun to celebrate with pumpkin pie, stuffing, turkey, apple cider, and friends from all over the world taking time to give thanks together. I've been thinking a lot about why Christ came and how He spent Christmas (whatever day it actually was) leaving His family to come here for us. He sacrificed so much by becoming like us and I think that is what I am most grateful for today. He completely understands every joy, hardship, humor, sadness, and celebration that we have. The question is can I be grateful for the insignificant sacrifices we are called to give? Can I be consistent in my gratitude whether it has been a wonderful week or a difficult one? Can I remember His sacrifice through the good and bad? Its easy to ask God for things and for some reason its harder to give thanks. How would I be different if I continually praised Him for ALL things?

          The past few weeks have been filled with the crazy build up to our end of year production entitled "What Child is This." Although there are many things that keep us busy, the performances really take most of our time, thought, and prayer. We put so much into these events because they are such wonderful opportunities to share what Christ sacrificed for us to the always diverse audience. I've said this a million times, but the arts really do open doors (and hearts) for the gospel more than anything I have ever experienced. Although I didn't know that I would end up in Malawi, I am so thankful for the years of ballet and training that made it possible to be here in this time using what I love to glorify the Lord. I love those moments when God lets you see WHY certain things happen and how it gives us a glimpse of His sovereignty and love.

          As we head into our last two weeks (where did the time go???) before our final show, we are also taking our top level of girls to several performances throughout Lilongwe. Last week, they got to perform in a village called Chinsapo with our friends Krysti and Marco from a ministry called the Chisomo Idea. It was such a blessing to be able to take ballet into a place that has never seen it before. The cool thing is that dance is such a universal language that anyone and everyone can relate through it. Two of our girls who speak Chichewa shared the gospel with all of the kids and I was grateful to see them step out in their faith. We also got to take them to perform in a youth arts competition of Malawi. Not knowing what to expect, we found out that there are four rounds and people from all over the country competing. Afterwards we went out for ice cream which I enjoyed because we were able to spend time with them outside of class. Yesterday, they performed in the International Day performance here at school where many families of our students attended. Whether dancing in the dirt, a tiny space, a gym, or a theatre, these girls have gotten to dance and worship everywhere. The past two years have brought an overwhelming, but amazing amount of outreach opportunities. I wouldn't want it any other way.

         As some of you may know, it was a hard decision on whether or not to come back to Malawi this year. I absolutely love my job, ministry, friends etc. but I also miss my family. However, I am so thankful that the Lord kept me here as I have gotten so much closer with my kids. There is such a high turn over with people coming and going and it has been special to have so many of my friends stay another year this time around. Its been a long time since our last break at school and there are days when I am so ready for Christmas break! Although there are moments of frustration, my students are overall a joy to teach. As much as I teach them about ballet and hopefully Christ, they teach me much about joy and how that looks day to day. Whether I am making them redo math homework, making them turn in cursive assignments, yelling at them to pointe their toes, or correcting their dances, they (usually) have good attitudes about it. Obviously there are bad moments, but I really think that they are (in general) so much more respectful than kids in the States. Like I said, in general, it seems that respect is not as much as an option and more of an understood courtesy. I hope that my kids someday are like some of my students and I think being a teacher is good preparation for parenting? Maybe?

          I have a hard time saying no to things at work, chances to do outreach, hanging out with friends, and anything else that sounds like a good idea. Last year, Carrie and I were so busy that I honestly don't know how we managed it. There were many great things that came out of it, but we needed better time management and being here another year, we realized what is worth doing and what isn't. Taking time for yourself is so important and saying no is ok sometimes. Maybe its that, or just feeling at home here, everything being familiar, or a mixture, but this year is so much better than last year! Carrie and I have such a good friendship and the Lord has really blessed us with being able to work together well and push this ballet program to new things. I've gotten to spend time with my friends, enjoy growth groups, getting involved with other people's ministries, going to do village outreach, or just hanging out in general. We got to go to Blantyre which is a southern city of Malawi this past weekend with some friends and see a national Malawi VS Mali football game. I love the city and they have wonderful food! Its always fun to do something different. Later in the week, a few of us got tattoos which I had to promise my mother was safe. I think I have to work at convincing my family that I haven't gone crazy, but after having dreads and a few tattoos, I'm not sure if they believe me. To me, the ones that I have are a constant reminder of what the Lord has done for me and how faithful He has been in my life. This may sound like a silly spiritual example, but its true. I easily forget how great our God is (like the Israelites) and need a reminder (like an Ebeneezer). Anyways I'm done for a while so don't worry. :) As great as the year has been and as excited as I am for our upcoming Christmas show, please pray for the next two weeks! They will be insanely busy. Thanks:)

         Part of living in transitions is always planning the next step as well as what's happening right in front of you. As much as I have learned to let the Lord plan and follow His call, there is practical planning that has to be done. Some of it is scary (like the fact that I want to head back to nursing school next year in Indiana- and get a puppy) and some of it is exciting (like the fact that I get to spend Christmas not by myself but with my best friend in Europe!!!!!!!!) If you know me at all, you know that I am obsessed with anything and everything Christmas. I start celebrating in October and would probably be friends with Buddy the Elf... So, being able to spend it with people I love is very exciting. I am so looking forward to seeing Caitlin and catching up on all that life is doing to us as well as spend Christmas with her family in Venice, Italy. It has been a dream of ours since we became friends years ago to see Italy, France, and England together. Now its actually happening and our 9th grade dreams are coming true. I didn't think I would be able to do this trip until I was older and had a real job, but it is happening and I could go on and on about how excited I am. When I get back to Africa, the plan is to head to Tanzania (which is right next to Malawi) with a few of my friends here for New Years. We have a month long break so it will be great to fill it with adventure as it is my last year on this side of the world (for a while at least). Its hard to believe that we are heading towards 2015 and how quickly the past few years have gone but also how much has happened. I truly have so much to be thankful for.

         I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas Season! I will try to write again before I leave, but just in case, I am trying to get a Christmas letter out so if you would like one, please send me your address! I mean who doesn't like getting international mail? :) I also just made an awesomely epic video to send back to some people in the states about what we do here in Malawi (it was actually really hard as I am not good at talking to cameras). If you would like a copy, please let me know as soon as possible! Thank you all for your support, prayers, thoughts, and encouragement. Getting an email/letter/call from home is like getting a care package. :) It is always a blessing to hear from you. I hope you have a wonderful weekend eating leftover turkey, going black friday shopping, and decorating for Christmas. I believe that's all for now...

          Emilie

       

Redeemed

          As I looked down the side of Mount Mulanje, which is the third highest peak in Africa, I saw a wall of fog. As it cleared, I could see the steep cliffs that we had climbed the past few days. It had been a hard backpacking trip, but one of the most beautiful I have been on. It was a bit frightening to be unable to see what was ahead on our descent down. It was scary to be walking into the "unknown." What was ahead was a mystery until we walked into it. The first thunderstorm of the season had arrived the night before and the lightning was stunning. The sky here in Malawi is something that cannot be described in word or picture. The stars, sunsets, and storms are so beautiful. As I said though, this morning was particularly foggy and it reminded me of how foggy the future can be. Before you stop reading this, I know it sounds like a cheesy comparison, but sometimes walking in nature, a mountain for instance, gives time to reflect and God uses random things to speak to us. Hence, the fog. Isn't the future a fog? Isn't it unknown until we walk into it? Isn't that scary? I think it is. Unless, we have an all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving God who has it all carefully written in His plan. Shouldn't the fact that we have been redeemed change the way we see that fog?

           Redeemed: Ransomed, Paid For, Bought, Taken from an undesirable situation, Saved, Atoned For. Sometimes, I get so stressed about this foggy future that I live in a way that does not reflect this redemption. Instead of trusting in this incredible Savior, I lose focus and try to do everything in my own strength. When I try to figure my life out and plan every detail, I stop seeking the Lord and all the little things start bothering me more than usual. This begins with being self consumed. I stop thinking of others and allow myself to dwell on the stresses of life. On these days, all I want is water for a shower and I forget about those in this country who don't ever have drinking water. I get bothered by the ants all over my room and the tarantulas outside. On these days, all I want is a Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte. I get frustrated with the slow internet and the fact that I cannot easily talk to my family. On these days, I ask myself why I didn't go to college and start a normal life. I forget that my complaints are so small when compared to other's around the world. Last week, I shared my testimony with one of the classes here at school and I think I got just as much out of it as anyone. It was such a wonderful reminder of what the Lord has redeemed me from and how my identity is forever more in Him. I am essentially the Lord's. If I began with trusting Him, than these daily irritations wouldn't be such a big deal. If I lived as if I was redeemed, than I wouldn't be concerned with what the future holds. I would know that it holds the Lord's plan and because I know Him, I would know that it will be better than anything I could come up with in my own strength. This fog wouldn't be quite so daunting.

          I want to share with you a few moments from the past week that have been answered prayers. Because for all the bad days, there are several great ones and the Lord is working here. My students are the reason I came back to Africa for a second year. I love them to pieces and cannot think about leaving them. However, I am very hard on them, always pushing them to work hard. Sometimes, I worry that they don't know how much I love them and I pray that they will come to know how much they mean to me. Their smiles are enough to make my day and I love getting to know them better. Its such a privilege to be able to teach them. Some of my students are Muslim, and I have been praying for them for a year and a half now. I feel so unqualified to minister, but I think loving them is the best way to share Jesus sometimes. This past week, two of these students though their families aren't Christians, have prayed at the end of class, which is huge. The pressure on young kids to follow their families in beliefs is especially great in the Muslim religion. I cannot know for sure what the Lord is working in them, but I know that He is working and that brings me so much joy. I am so looking forward to the performances coming up as it gives our kids the chance to use dance to share the gospel and actually put into practice what we teach. Carrie and I are putting together a story ballet on the Rwandan Genocide for the end of the year based on a true story of forgiveness and redemption. Please be praying for this to impact us, our students, and the audience in a positive way. We need the Lord to use this ballet for it to bring Him glory.

          "Love your neighbor as yourself." This often quoted scripture has been on my mind a lot lately. I realized that we cannot love others without loving ourselves. Now, I am not saying to pamper ourselves, we are also called to deny ourselves and follow Christ. However, if we are not taking time to spend with the Lord studying scripture on our own and just growing in our relationship with Him, we will be unable to show His love to others. Our time with Christ is vital to our growth and joy. Without it, we are too weak to keep our focus. When I get worried about the future like I was talking about earlier and start letting little things bother me, I stop thinking of others. I also stop taking time for alone time with the Lord. Obviously, all of these things are wrong, but then I get so angry at myself for making mistakes. Doesn't this just show that I am prideful? The fact that it surprises me that I mess up shows that I still don't fully understand my desperate need for grace and what the Lord did on the cross for me. I think this is a daily learning process. Although I get overwhelmed with all that the Lord is doing, I know He knows best. I am so thankful for a God that is good. I came across a couple of quotes that have really hit home with me and I'd like to share them with you now...

"God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them."

- John Piper

 

"God often reinforces our faith after we trust Him, not before."

- Ravi Zacharias

 

          Romans 8 (yep, all of it)

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.  And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you. Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation—but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that he creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

 

There is so much more I would love to share about every day life and all that goes on, but I try to make my blogs flow or have some kind of theme. This one took me forever, so I hope it makes sense and gives you a glimpse into my little corner of the world. Thank you for all your prayers and support. It means so much to me. If you would like more updates on the different ministry opportunities, normal life, pictures, and such, please check out my Facebook. I update it more regularly and I cannot put pictures on my blog because of the slow internet connection. Thanks y'all.

-em





10 things the nomad life has taught me thus far...

          One. Life Is Messy. It doesn't turn out exactly the way you had possibly imagined. Dreams grow and shape into something entirely different than our past selves may have thought. The people you meet, the places you go, the jobs you have, and etc all lead us to new dreams and change our perfectly planned life into a messy ball of possibilities. The things you learn from your experiences impact your future desires and the life that you thought you wanted may easily morph into something unexpected.

          Two. Life Is Beautiful. Travelling the world and settling into a foreign country completely change your perspective. Getting to see so many cultures and countries is truly a gift. There is tragedy in the world, but being enabled to help in making it a better place is beautiful. Being a part of other's lives and seeing God work in so many places through so many ways is something I wouldn't trade for the world.

          Three. People Are Different. I've been blessed to have jobs that bring people from around the world together. I have friends from every continent (except Antarctica that is) and have learned the pros and cons, ups and downs, good and bad of dozens of cultures including my own. Differences help us grow, learn, and make us wiser in many ways. Living in a place where you are the minority forces you to view the world in a different way. Learning to adapt and make friendships with so many people makes you better at talking through disagreements and humbles you. It helps people learn from each other- which is something I hope to get better at.

          Four. People Are The Same. Yes, I am contradicting myself. I don't mean that people are clones and agree on everything. That is clearly very untrue. Everyone had different life experiences and was created in a unique way. That is exactly my point though. What I mean, is that we were all created by the same God. A God that gives us a choice, but put in us a strong desire for something. That something keeps us searching for whatever is supposed to fill the void. I have friends from so many religions, but we all seek the truth. Whether you are Muslim or Jewish, we all have this little piece of love inside of us. Now, I am not saying that people are good. We are all sinful, but I do believe that God created us in love and that keeps us searching for Him. I can only pray that my friends will find the answer in the only true God- Jesus Christ. So, in many ways we are different, but there is something the same in all of us. This being a desire for fulfillment and although it can be temporarily filled with many things, the only lasting purpose is Jesus Christ- crucified and risen for us.

          Five. You Start New Roots. I found the following quote on a friend's facebook and although I don't know who wrote it, I found it very interesting. "You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place." I don't completely agree, as I wrote in an earlier blog that I have found that this thing we call "home" is where God has us in this moment. However, there is some truth in having your heart in more than one place. Whatever town in whichever continent that you start new roots in will change you. Travel does that. It makes you come out of your shell, be willing to explore, become independent, and meet new people. The more places you go, the more your roots are pulled up and spread out. I think its important to keep our roots firmly in Christ and no matter where He takes us, we will still be secure. New places are wonderful, but with all the changes we must remember what we have learned in each place and allow God to use those things to grow our roots in Christ even deeper.

          Six. You Remember Your Old Roots. Now don't think that I am an expert in travel. I have much to learn and am a beginner in all there is to life. In my experience however, I have realized something. No matter where I have gone, my family is always on my mind. Its true what they say - that friends come and go, but family is forever? I think that's what they say... Anyways, you don't realize how much you love something until you don't have it. Being away from my family for as long and as often as I have been has made me appreciate them more than they know. I have been through my own set of learning, come to my own faith, grown closer to the Lord, had my dreams change, moved around the globe, and I have gotten more tattoos than my mother probably likes, but deep down, I still have the same core beliefs that my parents instilled in me. We change, but every part of our past is a part of that change.

          Seven. Material Things Are Not Important. Maybe always having to stuff my life into a carry-on and a couple of suitcases attributes to this, but I don't have a lot of things to call my own. I still have so much more than most people. I have seen the rich places in the world as well as the poor. I have seen more joy in the poor than in the rich. I empathize with Paul when he said that he never wanted to be rich nor poor. Depending on where you are, those terms are relative and the point of this is that items we can see do not give us joy. Needs and wants seem to be relative at times too and things that I say I need to be happy are not necessary. Possessions are nice and I love to go shopping as much as the next person. I love the finer things in life, but I've also lived with less and seen those who live with next to nothing. I want to be more like those who have little than those who have much. I want to find my joy in things that matter and not a house full of material things and a closet full of clothes. I understand that every country is different and you have to adapt. I'm not saying I will give up Starbucks or walk around barefoot, but I also cannot see myself living in a way that gratifies every material desire. Having a lot is not wrong, but what we do with those things matters and our joy cannot be found in items.

          Eight. Memories Are Important. I am not the kind of person that holds onto mementos. I have a few souvenirs from the places I have been and from people who are important to me, but I get rid of things all the time. I don't really have a choice as its part of getting your suitcase down to 50 pounds. I do however photograph everything. I have realized that is the only way to not forget the little things. There are things you cannot explain when you go back to visit your family and showing them your life through pictures helps in sharing your stories. I don't always journal, but occasionally its good to write things down and blogging helps. In the end, memories are really all that we can hold onto. They shape us into our future selves.

          Nine. Culture Shock and Reverse Culture Shock Are Very Real. They hit everyone in various ways and at various times. They affect some more than others, but it will happen and its something to prepare for. Honestly, I have a very easy time adjusting to new places and I think its because that is part of what God made me to do. For me, its easier to go into foreign countries and harder to return to the states. I think its because I prepare for it more? The first time that I stepped foot onto African soil, I was staying in a small village called Zirobwe outside the capital city of Kampala in Uganda. It was very much what most people think of as a poor area in Africa. I absolutely loved it. It was hard though as my first time outside of the states as a 17 year old girl to process such a different kind of world. I am thankful that I went alone and got that extra time to spend time with the Lord instead of other people to help me wrap my brain around how that experience would forever change my life. From a very young age, I went to ballet intensives with people from around the world and now at 20, I have traveled to 11 countries and lived for 2 years in one of those. I have many more ahead and many people have been to way more than me, but I feel that I have had a decent amount of exposure to the world so far. The more traveling I do, the easier it is to adapt to new places. Going back to the states after living overseas however is difficult at first. Not only is what you used to consider normal no longer that way, but you also view things in a different light. I still enjoyed going out to eat and getting a few overpriced lattes, but I had a hard time walking into department stores and looking at the prices of material things. What used to be your home is no longer perfect and you have to learn how to live differently than you used to. People back home will not understand. They have the very best intentions and to those of you reading this from the states- I love you dearly. To those of you traveling- its normal for people to not understand. They will do their best to visualize your stories and you will learn which stories need to be told and which stories people want to hear. Its a challenge at first, especially with all the other thoughts running through your brain like being jet lagged, having culture shock, and readjusting to "normal" life. Remember that your family and friends love you very much and they want to understand. Also, its important to have patience with questions like "Do you speak African?" or "Do you see lions walking around?" or comments like "I have a friend who went to Africa once" or "I bet you are so glad to be back in America and not in a dangerous place." We all try to relate to other people with the closest thing we have to understanding it. Sometimes people are way off and don't realize that Africa has many, many, many languages and countries. Africa has cities as well as villages as well as national parks. Africa is big and could fit three of United States in it. There are dangerous places, but there are also safe places. You now have more than one home and you have to learn how to accept the good and bad of both places. These same misconceptions could happen if you went to China, Alaska, Sri Lanka, Italy, or Saudi Arabia. Its OK. I hope this isn't sounding rude. I think its awesome when people ask questions because it means they care. I also think its great to explain politely when the questions are not completely accurate. Like I said, it can be hard. The stories are worth sharing though and listening to others who try to relate through their similar stories is also good. The world didn't stop when you were gone and others have stories to share as well. Listening is important - I talk too much sometimes. Listening to understand- not to respond is so important and so rare. Everyone has stories and even when you are going through culture shock or reverse culture shock, we have to learn to think about those around us and not just our own stories and life. Note to self.

          Ten. Jesus Is My Rock. Through all of it, God is faithful. God's plan leads us across borders into unknown territory. He is there through the best and worst of it all. His ways are higher than ours and therefore the plan is usually not what we expected. He is always good. Through the rough times, He binds us to Himself and through the good times, He rejoices with us. He is the all consuming, all fulfilling, all deserving, all powerful, all knowing, all loving God. He knows all things and yet is patient with us and teaches us in stride, revealing things when we are ready. He is our rock. When life is confusing and nothing makes sense, He is the same. He never changes. He is the past, present, and future. He guides and holds us. Even when we forget what He has done for us, He reminds us. He is grace. He is truth. He is the way. He is the life. He is so much. I cannot survive without time with Him. I also cannot live another day without failing. What a God we serve that He helps us in our weaknesses. Life is a battlefield and I have to be reminded constantly to abide in Him and surrender all things to Him. Life is more than we can see. Its actually mostly what we cannot see. The spiritual realm is not some misty thing up in the sky. It happens in our minds. It happens all around us. There are so many people who don't yet know Him and we must be aware of that. Everywhere we go, we are missionaries. Someone told me once that the one thing you can't do in Heaven is evangelize. That is an interesting thought right? The only way we can keep doing life and sharing Him with others is remembering that He is our rock and staying with Him through it all. Although I am sure there are more things I could share that I am learning through this nomad life thus far, I'll end with Ten. Jesus Is My Rock.

The fun and the not-fun of ministry.

          Don't get me wrong. I absolutely adore my job over here in Malawi. Being a part of a ministry can be challenging, but oh so rewarding. I would like to share about the good, bad, hard, and wonderful parts of working in missions overseas. I am a beginner at doing missions in a foreign country, so I want to preface this with that fact. This is all based on my experiences and others may have vastly different thoughts. But these are mine. These are my best, worst, and messy thoughts on life... so far.

          Live Sent. I still remember this ''motto" from my church back home (or at least my last home in Jackson, MS.) It was a challenge to live in a mission-minded way no matter where you are in the world. All of us are missionaries wether or not that word is a part of our job title. Its a part of our identity when we surrender to Christ. Until we fully surrender, its easy to leave the "missions" jobs for others, but when God really takes a hold of our lives, its not something we can escape. Our past dreams, ideas, and desires become molded into the new plan- God's plan. It turns out that God is a lot smarter than us. Now I have no idea what His plan is for my life in the future, but even if its ministry, an office job, going to school, having a family, or working at Starbucks, I'll be a missionary to those around me. Y'all are too. The Lost people in your workplace are just as Lost as the kids I teach here in Malawi. Trusting that God puts us in the place He wants to use us to share the gospel is a beautiful thing. One terribly difficult thing about saying yes to God is not knowing where He will take you. In my case, it has been on the opposite side of the globe. This can be wonderful to experience new cultures, people, and adventures that I could go on about for quite a while. It can also be tremendously hard to live 4 flights from home and only see your family once a year. Living overseas changes you forever and I am so thankful for that, but it doesn't come without challenges. I've said it a million times, and I'll say it again: I am so blessed to use so many things that I love to serve God. I never dreamed that it would be so rewarding. That said, I also never dreamed that it would be so hard. That said, there is something special about working with other like-minded people in this thing we call "ministry."

          Some of the most incredible people I have met, have been from the missions I have been involved with at Ballet Magnificat, African Bible College Christian Academy, NorthRidge, and Flood. There are even a few that will probably be forever friends. One of the hard things about being surrounded by Christians is that we have a way of hurting each other. Obviously no one is perfect, but there is something especially painful when a fellow believer is a part of it. Unfortunately we are all guilty of falling to the enemy's schemes of bringing dissension. Gossip, judgement, and cliques are far too often the cause of breaking groups apart and losing opportunities to share the gospel. Our own insecurities and pride keep us from being willing to listen to truth from each other and being vulnerable with each other. Somehow, I feel that this is opposite of what it should be. How different would it be if we truly loved each other as we are called to? There are some amazing people in missions that I hope to someday be like and there is something to be said for working toward unity. I guess it comes down to love and I'm just as guilty as the guiltiest. Love isn't a feeling; its an action. Its also not a choice; its a calling. No ministry is perfect. I do think though, that if we are working toward love and unity within our group, God will bless it.

          Ministry is not about self-fulfillment. That seems obvious, but it can be hard sometimes. Usually, it is very fulfilling because it is fulfills part of our purpose. There are times though, when it is not fulfilling and you feel like you aren't doing anything important. I speak for myself- maybe others feel differently, but there are most definitely parts of it that are not "fun." I wish everyday on the mission field was going to the village and holding babies, playing games with kids, giving out medicine, and such. Depending on your job, some people may be called to do that more than others, but there is a flip side to those special moments. Those guys that run the orphanages and village outreaches have to organize missions trips for hundreds of people, pray for funds, find sponsors, and do all of the behind the scenes organization that is exhausting and not always fun. The wonderful moments of my job include the outreach performances, teaching little kids, and the two big shows at the end of each semester. There are things like the administrative side of running a ballet department, the prep work for huge shows, or finding sponsors that do not spark any "spiritual fulfillment" inside of me. The worst part of being in missions and I think many would agree, is rasing support. Yep. It is hard and humbling. No one likes asking for money and until you're on the other side, there's no way to explain it. It's just plain hard. However, those things are necessary to the the job being done excellently and therefore a part of ministry. Maybe we wanted to "save the world" when God called us to "go" but sometimes changing the world involves things like paperwork and sacrificing our own time to help others in our ministry. Don't get me wrong. I'm all for "saving the world." I just think that it looks different from what we imagine sometimes. I say this because I know how easy it is to get so busy doing "ministry" that I become oblivious to others and their needs around me. If our mission includes a group of people, then we should be working together to get everything done. This comes with being in touch with the Holy Spirit and is something I am no expert in. Everyone has a different mission field and the "not-fun" parts are probably just as important as the "fun" parts.

          Most people have heard "National Geographic" type stories about Africa. You have probably seen pictures of starving children and given money and prayers to dig wells, sponsor kids, translate bibles, and fight starvation in villages. These are all so very true and important. I hope that I can help raise awareness, funds, and prayers to help with the outreaches dedicated to these things. There are also cities in Africa that have needs, but they are different needs. I don't want this to come across the wrong way, and I hope that anyone reading this with a heart for the villages in Africa will go and work in them. I also would like to raise awareness for the needs of the cities, because in my perspective, they are neglected. I realize that I am generalizing and Africa is vast in miles and differences. The places that I have been seem to have many missions in the outskirts, but the more populated cities need Jesus too. These cities may not be as desperate for food or water, but they are just as desperate for the true bread and living water. These cities are most likely where the future leaders of these countries are and what a shame it would be to miss out on reaching those who will influence so many. When I first got to Malawi, it was so different than I had imagined. No place is the same, and it takes time to appreciate things that are different. I teach at a very privileged school where the future leaders of this country could possibly attend. Not only do people of all religions want their children to come here, but we get to teach them about Jesus. These kids are in embassy families, local government families, business families, and missionary families. These kids will make a difference someday and they will remember their teachers. Hopefully we aren't taking that responsibility for granted and are thoughtful in our words and actions to them and each other. I would like to share a few of the opportunities we have had here in Lilongwe for outreach and maybe you will see why I am so passionate about what we do over in this corner of the world.

          Last year, Carrie and I were blown away at the amount of outreaches God brought about for us to do. It was insane and although many times I thought there was no way to get everything done, God always came through. When we were living on no sleeep, coffee and coke, somehow He still enabled us to dance and bring Him glory. When we had no room on the stage and no time to prepare, He always had everything turn out better than we could have ever done on our own. We were able to dance at Christian conferences in Lilongwe and Blantyre as well as secular music festivals and concerts. I never would have thought that we would have been dancing to a Christian song at a festival with drunk and lost people, but what better way to reach those who will never step into a church? We got to partner with One Lord Records which is a Christian music producing company run by our friends here. It was wonderful to collaborate with local artists. These events took us to performing live on National TV and have articles in the newspapers. Eight of our students got to perform with us around the city and seeing them step out in worship was probably the most rewarding time of the year. We also had 130 students in ballet who performed at a Christmas show and an end of the year show. We not only get to teach students from ABC, but our community classes are growing as well. Our two end of semester shows are probably our two biggest outreaches of the year. They bring in about 1,000 people to watch their children perform and hear the gospel. The families and community are more willing to come to a Christian event when it is done through art and that has been an awesome avenue to share the gospel. We have added many classes this year and are mostly busy teaching and preparing for these events. As of now, we are in preparation for both the Christmas show and the end of year show. We have big plans and ask that you pray for many to come to Christ. There are some smaller shows coming up as well that our eight girls who travel with us will be performing at. I am so proud of them and all that God is doing in them. One of the things I want to focus on this year is to plant in them the desire to keep using their gifts for The Lord. God has seriously blown my mind with the opportunities to share Him with this city. There will always be hard parts, not-fun parts, and challenging parts. BUT God always has a purpose of bringing Him glory and that is so rewarding. Ministry is hard, BUT God comes through. He gives the strength, ability, opportunity, and joy- its impossible without His help. Here I stop my rambling and leave you with a quote that reminds me to never overlook what God is doing.

 

“Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God,
But only he who sees takes off his shoes;
     The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.”    

 

-  Elizabeth Barrett Browning  - 

let LOVE keep my will on its knees

In a world of noise, we are called to silence before The Lord...
             

  "My soul waiteth in silence for God only: From him cometh my salvation." - Psalm 62:1

How hard it is to stop in the midst of life to sit and wait upon God! However it raises a question. How can I think that I can go for even a day without seeking time with The Lord? The only conclusion that I can find is that I am too proud to realize my own desperate deficiency. It seems to be a recurring theme in my walk with God. No matter what season I am in, He always brings me back to this. I get so frustrated with Him and myself. Why can I not learn and move on? Its my "fix it" controlling personality that wants to move to the next lesson. Everytime I read through the Old Testament, I want to scream at the Israelites. "How can you keep turning to other gods?" I want to ask... "Hasn't God proven Himself enough?" Another recurring story is "raising an ebenezer." I found this word in 1 Samuel and had no idea what it meant... So, I looked it up. The word means "stone of help." It was used to set up an altar to remind people what God had done and how He had been faithful. How easily I forget the torture and humiliation that Christ took upon Himself in order to redeem my life. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by the weight over what He has rescued me from, and other times I live through the day as if I have forgotten what He has done. What a tragedy: to not remember the greatest act of love on a consistent basis. Over the past few weeks, God has opened my eyes in ways He never has before. He has shown me ways to remind myself of His faithfulness, He has helped discipline myself to spend more time with Him, and through this, my eyes have been opened to more of what He sees.

The thing is, we are human. We are prone to forgetting. We are often failing. BUT, how great is our God? He helps us in weakness, never ceases to give grace, and never stops growing and pruning us. Jeremiah 17:7-8 says this: 

 "He (the Christian) is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the

stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is

not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

 

There will be times of drought spiritually, but we dont have to fear. There will be times when we feel stuck. There will be times when we make mistakes. God is faithful- praise The Lord... He will carry out the work He began and if we have our roots in Him and are remaining in Him, He will bind our wandering hearts to Himself. He will continue to humble us and show us how much we need Him. He will truly teach us the meaning of being hungry and thirsty for God. IF... we ASK.

 

"My son, if you accept my words

and store up my commands within you,

turning your ear to wisdom

and applying your heart to understanding—

indeed, if you call out for insight

and cry aloud for understanding,

and if you look for it as for silver

and search for it as for hidden treasure,

then you will understand the fear of the Lord

and find the knowledge of God.

For the Lord gives wisdom;

from his mouth come knowledge and understanding."

Proverbs 2

 

Speaking of the craziness and business of life, brings me to my next point. How easy it is to get caught up in "my world" and not be in tune with what God wants. Something I have been mulling over is how many things I do because I want to do them. If I'm being completely honest with myself, I would have to say the majority of what I do is based on what I desire at that point in time. Whether its what I am going to eat for lunch, or what I do in my free time, or actual important things like what I am going to do with my life in the future. Is it possible that I spend so much time thinking about what I want/need/desire that I become blind to others around me? Unfortunately, I believe that it is not only possible, but probable that it happens more than I want to admit. The more time I spend in prayer, the less I think of myself. The past few weeks have been so freeing. There are so many things that consume us that have little to no importance. Becoming more in tune to The Lord makes us more in tune to others. We do, in a way, die to ourselves. Its such a beautiful death. One that only Christ could perfect, but one that we can strive for. The only death that leads to life- and life eternal. And this is my prayer...

 



"let LOVE keep my will on its knees."

 

I want to have that "James like" prayer life where I take everything to my father before acting. If we went to our knees with our will and left with more of HIS will, I believe the world would be different. If we acted not on what our will is, or even what we think God's will is... What would happen if we actually sat in silence and waited for God to tell us His will? Again, I think that at least for me, I get caught up in so many things that I dont always notice when God is trying to get my attention. Of course He always does, but what if we were so in tune to Him, that He only had to show us once? I love the picture that Elizabeth Barrett Browning gives,

“Earth's crammed with heaven,
And every common bush afire with God,
But only he who sees takes off his shoes;
The rest sit round and pluck blackberries.”

 

This was our first week of ballet at ABC Christian Academy. We have somewhere between 100-150 students and it looks like its going to be a wonderful year- full of opportunities. It was so great to see our girls again. I feel so blessed to be able to do everything I love here. It hit me again today. I never in a million years would have thought this is what I would be doing, but I wouldn't change it for anything. The opportunities to use dance as ministry are so great here. I cannot imagine a place that would allow us to do what we get through this program. I was talking to Carrie about the hundreds and really thousands of people who have been exposed to the gospel through dance so far in Malawi and it blew my mind. Through all of the performances, conferences, TV, newspapers, and festivals, I am amazed at how God can take something random like dance and use it to glorify HIS name. Please be in prayer for this year and although it will be different, that The Lord will use it in crazy ways to advance His kingdom. If you would like to find out more about how to donate ballet shoes and funds, please contact me at gloemg16@gmail.com and check out more consistent updates on my Facebook or Instagram. We are so thankful for your prayers. The ministry here is incredible, but we would be completely drained without the encouragement and prayers from all of you. I cannot tell you how thankful I am and how much of a difference you help to make for all of our students. Prayer requests below:



1) Please, please, please pray that Carrie and I will start the year off well with students, parents, and staff. We want to share our vision of ministry for the program with them and be more unified as a whole.

 

2) Not all of our students are saved. Please pray for them, their families, and anyone who sees performances by the ABC Christian Academy Ballet Department. There are many different religious backgrounds at this school and we need wisdom on how to witness.

 

3) As far as we know, our first shows are in November, so please be praying for the preparation and performing of those.

 

4) Carrie and I are working a lot teaching regular school in the mornings, teaching ballet until 6, and trying to run the whold department. We do have a new teacher to help with some of the ballet classes which is an answered prayer! It does get hectic though, so pray for grace in those areas.

 

5) Our biggest days of the year are in December and May which we have already heavily began planning for. Pray that God will give us ideas to use especially for the end of the year in May when we are trying to create a story ballet on redemption.

6) Personally, I would love to be able to do more ministry with my friends outside of the city. They run missions called LiveLove and GO in the villages outside of Lilongwe. Although we get busy with ballet schedules, I would love to do others as well- so just time to make for that.

 

7) I know I have a lot on my mind about next year as I plan to attend school and I don't want to get too focused on the future and not fully live here.

 

8) Please pray for provision of funds, ballet shoes, and new ballet teachers with a heart for missions to take on this role when Carrie and I head to new seasons. We cannot bear the thought of this ministry falling apart.

 

9) My family is in the midst of moving to a new home. I know that they are stressed and I wish I could help more. Please pray that God will provide what they need.

 

That is all I can think of for now. Y'all are awesome. Thanks for reading my word vomit and supporting us. I am praying for all of you as well. Goodbye for now:)

 

 

Khomo sweet home

          Home is where the heart is right? What then, if you're heart is in two? Can you have two homes? I would say that home is where my family is. I've been away from home at ballet camp every summer since I was 10 years old. I've been living away from home off and on since I was 14 years old. No matter where God took me, I always went back to one thing- my family. They were constant in a life that has been anything but stationary. Now, I live 4 plane flights, 3 continents, and 8,396.8 miles away from "home." I miss them desperately. I also love where The Lord has me in Malawi, Africa and all that he has me doing here. What I'm realizing is that one part of me will always be drawn back to my family and that home, while another part will be drawn to where God calls me. So the question is, can we call anything home if that's where God has us? Being in Gods will has got to be the greatest home. As much as I love traveling, am extremely grateful for my time in Africa, and will probably continue to travel eventually, I am looking forward to next year when I believe God is calling me back home with my family. I wouldn't trade the path God has taken me on, so far it's been an incredible journey and growing experience. I have been so very blessed to spend my life pursuing ballet, dancing with a Christian company, and using that art to do missions in Africa. Leaving my family this time was definitely the hardest of all. I kind of took it as confirmation that God is taking me back there next year to be a bigger part of my siblings lives. Without getting too far ahead, I want to enjoy this final year overseas and really do my best to leave all that God has done through the program in good hands where it will continue to grow. I'm so thankful for the opportunity to build relationships with my students for another year and pray that I can be a positive influence for Christ in their lives. For now, my home is Malawi, Africa. Next year, my home will be with my family. I hope though, that my home will never cease to be in the Lords will.

           Over my holiday this year, I got to spend a lot of time with my parents, brothers, sisters, family, and friends. It was so wonderful to catch up with each of them and see them growing and changing. It was a busy summer, but it was so encouraging to see everyone. Below are a few of the highlights that my jet lagged brain can remember right now.

1) Getting picked up from the airport by my entire family and going out for Mexican. This is mostly number one because I loved seeing them, and partly because well we got Mexican. :)

2) Mini-vacation road trips. I mean when you have 10 people in a 12 passenger van on the road for hours- you are bound for adventures. Luckily, despite the bathroom breaks (which are often when you have little sisters) food stops, and more bathroom breaks, we made it to some great places. It was super fun going to our family reunion in Fort Wayne, IN, visiting friends and the Arch in St. Louis, MO, and spending time at the lake with friends near Warsaw, IN.

3) I was so grateful to have jobs while home! Running ballet camps, babysitting, and helping my brother paint were very helpful in getting me everything I needed to come back here. I really enjoy teaching ballet to kids around the world. :)

4) Spending quality one on one time is very difficult when there are ten of us. So, I made it a priority to do so and was blessed to see all that God is doing in each of them. They taught me a lot while being home.

5) Fair is a pretty big deal for my family. All my sisters ride horses and Gab is very good at contesting. I was excited to step into their world and be a part of what they love. I'm looking forward to continue in seeing their loves and dreams come out. My brothers are still pretty into outdoor stuff. Luke was working on his Eagle Scout project and Sage an Danny were off on dirt bikes. It was so crazy to see how grown up they are- especially my brothers. I don't know when they turned into teenagers! Aren't I still one?

6) So, I have a special relationship with my car:) It was so wonderful to just drive around with the top down, jamming to country that my family somehow convinced me to love. I miss driving her already.

7) My best friend, Caitlin and I got to hang out quite a lot which was super fun. Her family invited me to go to Europe with them for Christmas this year! Planning that adventure was quite exciting! We will be traveling in England, France, and Italy. I can't wait. :)

8) Resources. Books, Christian resources, quick internet, having power, not running out of water. The list goes on of things to not take for granted.

9) Food. Oh how I will miss Starbucks, drive thrus, Mexican, chick fil a, and choices in the grocery store. I have changed a lot since living overseas, but I will always love those things.

10) Having fun things to do. Movies, shopping, food, shows, parks, lakes, gyms, coffee, etc. There's never a shortage of fun things to do and if course it helps when you're with your favorite people.

11) Because I almost forgot! 5 of my siblings got baptized this summer. It was such a special time to see them step out in their own faith. After everything God has done in them, it was beautiful. I was so thankful to be there for that.

As you can see, the break was wonderful and I'm sure I'm missing things...
I am finally getting settled into life back on this side of the planet and school starts tomorrow! Here are things you can pray for:

1) Continued learning that home is in Gods will and growth in my faith.
2) That this year will really be influential in relationships with our students and sharing the gospel with not only them, but all who come to performances.
3) Refreshment for Carrie and I as we work for the continued progress of this ministry.

I'm sure there is much more, but I'll leave you for now. Thanks everyone!
I will be trying my best to update more regularly since more of you read this than I thought. Thanks for all the prayers and support. Love from Malawi!
Em

Psalm 86

1 Hear me, Lord, and answer me,
    for I am poor and needy.
2 Guard my life, for I am faithful to you;
    save your servant who trusts in you.
You are my God; 3 have mercy on me, Lord,
    for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant, Lord,
    for I put my trust in you.

5 You, Lord, are forgiving and good,
    abounding in love to all who call to you.
6 Hear my prayer, Lord;
    listen to my cry for mercy.
7 When I am in distress, I callto you,
    because you answer me.

8 Among the gods there is none like you, Lord;
    no deeds can compare with yours.
9 All the nations you have made
    will come and worshipbefore you, Lord;
    they will bring glory to your name.
10 For you are great and do marvelous deeds;
    you alone are God.

11 Teach me your way, Lord,
    that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart,
    that I may fear your name.
12 I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart;
    I will glorify your name forever.
13 For great is your love toward me;
    you have delivered mefrom the depths,
    from the realm of the dead.

14 Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God;
    ruthless people are trying to kill me—
    they have no regard for you.
15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and graciousGod,
    slow to anger, aboundingin love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and have mercyon me;
    show your strength in behalf of your servant;
save me, because I serve you
    just as my mother did.
17 Give me a sign of your goodness,
    that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,
    for you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.